hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
