My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she told me i tasted like america
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
