Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
