i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
