11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
