Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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