At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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