you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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