Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
