Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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