P.S. I can't hear my feet
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
