i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
