my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize