im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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