Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
