if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
