I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
