hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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