ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
