Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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