Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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