Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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