this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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