So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Even my vagina gasped.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
