Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
