I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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