Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
