I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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