True but thats because hes a fetus.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
