so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
