Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize