I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
