I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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