I wish I could punch you in the face.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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