She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
