We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize