there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think a kid would responsible me up
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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