its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
