oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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