But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
