You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
