I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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