if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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