those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
