jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
