And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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