she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
