So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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