just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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