I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize