remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
