Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
