Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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