I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
