So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
