I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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