I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
