New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
