Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Holy shit dude........stairs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
