This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize